Just so ya know, this guy just conducted the Boston Symphony Orchestra.

 Wow.

I love spring because:

1. Chinese buffets are still in the strip malls.

2. The Columbus Clippers are playing baseball somewhere.

3. Pizza Pan has fried mushrooms.

4. Flip Flops show off my flat, barney rubble feet.

5. I have an ice cream shop blocks from my house, and it is open.

Recently I ate at Vaquero’s with some of my family and friends. While dining exclusively in the finest of booths Vaquero’s had to offer, some thoughts came to me…

(only after they put 10 of us in a corner booth)

1. There is no way to look cool as a guy sitting right on the corner of the booth. If you put one arm up you look silly. Two arms up you look like a stretched out bird. Two arms up and leaning to the side puts you in a less appealing position. Whatever you do, don’t put both legs up on the booth and lean to the side with one arm up. Even if it is around your wife there is no coolness to it.

2. Bring a birthday cake that has black icing on it. Maybe have it decorated with a racetrack or something. This provides a solid 23 minutes of entertainment if you bring a child along. Once you teach them how to make their teeth and tongue turn black, things just get better.

3. As an addition to the previous idea, bring some open minded adults along to teach the child also how to make grey icing, or how to scientifically dip a spoon covered in icing into their waterglass to create a “Dishwasher” like effect.

4. I affectionately call this next technique “Musical Meals…” (which happened on accident, but I will explain the experience as best as I can.)

First, everyone order something remotely similar.

When the food comes out, start calling out what you got (but only partially. Ex: If you order a plate with burritos and tamales just start saying “I had the one with rice, and cheese on the side”.

Then, each person starts to randomly say things off the menu like: “Burrito” “queso” “nachos” “Mole Sauce”…

The result will be the following:

They take 3/4 of the food back to the cook’s window, regroup, and come back 42 seconds later organized and ready to roll.

Life is good.

Presidents have ate cabbage rolls here.

World famous pro athletes have carried a food tray in this place.

Musicians make a stop here on there tours while passing through.

The pictures on the wall prove it.

Cafeteria style, home cooked food.

And there is a dude in the corner playing old jazz standards on the piano.

We even witnessed an old cat stand up and do in impromptu song just because it was on his heart at that moment (while his lady just sat and smiled with adoration…)

This joint is what life is all about.

“The difference between ‘I Can!’ and ‘I Can Not!’ usually depends on the circumstances surrounding the situation. Neither statement fits when you put a Krispy Kreme joint in my path. I just say ‘I Do.’

~Richard Hoak Terry

I found this pic of something that had just had just taken its life. The bystander’s reactions tell me that this photo was for real and not just a photoshop job. If you feel convicted by this type of thing, or don’t do well with graphic material just don’t click on the link. I just think people need to be aware of this type of situation.

click here.

Shopping at Delaware Kroger has shown me that in life you pick your battles…

The other day I felt like I was in the Last Samurai and I was picking my battle of war at the local Kroger…these battles were as follows:

1. People that talk on their bluetooth headset in line at the grocery store can eat my shorts. You have no idea how little I care about hungover you were last night or where you are going to be tonight.

2. Who said it was legal for the grandma with the ink and weight issue to rock out the “PINK” style sweatpants with a white tank top that shows her 1964 trucker tattoo and arm hair?

3. People in the checkout lines that smell like a chinese buffett.

4. The kid at kroger who feels he knows so much more than me about life when I can not get my vegetables to ring up on the self serve scanner.

5. The mom pushing her kid around in that giant plastic oversize car shaped grocery cart and every two feet has to stop and tell him to get back in. In a two gondola span I learned that kid’s first and last name, what he likes to eat, and what his mom is gonna due to him by the time they reach the car.

“Honesty is something you can’t wear out…”

.waylon jennings

Apparently in the office world…celebrating cinco de mayo on the second of the month is cool to do.

Ingredients include (but are not limited too):

1. American made flour tortillas.

2. Jose Ole frozen Miniature tacos from Kroger.

3. Tamales out of a can.

4. Enchilada like stuff in a crock pot.

5. Giant Eagle Salsa.

6. Ground beef in a crock pot with taco seasoning.

7. Warm Diet Pepsi.

(here’s to authentic,international,work-sponsored, north-american,pot-lucks!)

just click here.