9:00 am and the department is short some people. People grimace and turn their noses up to conversation due to the low morale of a couple busy days at the job.

Two cubicles over, I find three boxes of krispy kreme donuts and a pack of balloons all strategically planted in such a way to boost a team’s morale and push them to victorious heights in their endeavours that day.

This is my balloon.

This is my donut.

This is my job.

This is the car that was in front of me a few mornings ago.

This person has a burning desire for mountains that are so strong that they were inspired to let the world know of their yearning for big pieces of land that carry identifiable summits above pieces of surrounding land.

The compressional forces, isostatic uplift and intrusion of igneous matterforces surface rock upwards, creating a landform higher than the surrounding features really toots this particular Ohio resident’s horn.

Fried chicken toots my horn.

I heart fried chicken.

Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind that has been attacked by a squid?

A: An inky thinky stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

Chili’s Baby Back Ribs Jingle

“Who Let the Dogs Out”

“We Will Rock You”

Kit-Kat candy-bar jingle (”Gimme a Break …”)

“Mission Impossible” theme

“YMCA”

“Whoomp, There It Is”

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight”

“It’s a Small World After All”

Above is one of our new floors…dang proud of it to.

Here are some things I have learned in the past eight days about floors:

1. You can hit a floor and it hurts you a lot more than it does the floor.

2. Floors don’t care how strong you are, floors can wear you out by doing nothing but just sitting there and watching you pound like a lumberjack in a applachian woodsman contest.

3. If you yell at a floor, it does not really care or show the tiniest bit of emotion to validate your frusterations.

4. Sub-floor has nothing to do with dinner or Subway.

5. Floors are flat. Knees are round. Floors don’t have any give. Knees do.

If you take just a spot of windex, mix it with some half & half, a drop of vanilla flavoring, throw in some ice cubes and consider putting a splash of coffee in it, you can induldge in what I just drank through a straw.

Don’t shoot for the French Vanilla Iced Coffee…

Too expensive to throw away, too horrible to recommend, just correct to blog about.

true dat.

So this hurts. George Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. Usually, I really don’t give into feeling when it comes to a celebrity death of any sort. I mean, it is always sad when someone passes away but I never really feel anything. This morning I just felt when I heard this.

Carlin was known for his against the grain, twisted, sick humor. As I got older though, his style of comedy blew me away. To me, he was an absolute genious, never again to be rivaled.

The routine that changed my life though is here.

(don’t click it if you are easily offended, but I am linkin’ this to show a point later on in this post.)

In 1992 I was 12 and heard him talk about Airline Announcements and Golf Courses for the homeless. Also talked about how the planet was fine and would just “shake us off” if things ever got too bad.

1999 brought the “You Are All Dieseased” HBO special. It was in this special that Carlin talked about Religion and how there is no God. Now for a 19 year old guy out on his own for the first time this routine spoke to me. It explained why the world was the way it was. I felt like he understood me when I asked so many questions. His points made sense, especially when I never got a straight answer from a pastor or anyone else that believed in God.

His routine taught me to question everything, no matter what.

I used this routine for over six years to base my opinion of God and what church was to me and it worked perfect. It shot down anyone from talking to me about being saved. I was able to make his words my own to let people know what I thought of corporate church environments and how ridiculous it was that churches needed money or believed in some imaginary guy up in the sky.

I will be the first to admit that my perspective has changed now that I am older. I do believe in God and think that a corporate church world is okay to belong to (within reason). Fact of the matter is, without George’s opinion, ideas, and perspective, I never would have even thought about the flipside to God.

George said things most people wouldn’t. He handed their thoughts to them on a silver platter and made people think. He made me think, consider, and identify with things that I never thought existed. He gave countless hours for me and my best friend Bill to sit and laugh at.

Atheists love this guy. They use his material to back up their own thoughts and ideas. I can see why.

 Fact of the matter is, when all is said and done the truth is out there you just have to compare and contrast.

Mr. Carlin definitely paved my way of finding a life that was more purpose driven. The man was brilliant on so many levels. A true intellectual of our times.

I am not sure where George ended up going in the end. I am sure most people have their opinions. The reality of it all is that it is not up to us.

Today, I am just thinkin’ about how one individual was able to communicate so many things over so many years to so many people. He made a lot of folks laugh. Think. Get ticked. Point is, they listened. There is something to be said for that.

Click here to read an interview from March 1 2008. 

So, the past couple nights Joy and I have been tearing up ceramic tile in our bathroom, kitchen, and laundry room in preparation for laying down new floor on Monday.

By doing this 2 things happen. First, we save money. Second, we build muscles that rival the new American Gladiator employees.

Last night while I was chiseling away at the tile, I began to try and find a happy place to go after the second hour of hammering at glued down tile. With my headphones on and some old Rage Against The Machine playing (which I totally recommend for any job involving a sledgehammer and wide open open space covered in breakable material!), I pictured myself in some incredible scenarios:

First, I was an archeologist excavating a long lost something under my kitchen floor.

Next, with the way the tiles began to break, it looked like I was creating a map of Pangea with a wonder bar.

Finally, it was time to stop, and life was good.

 Always gotta show love for the folks comin’ up in the industry.

Heard this lady Natalie Stovall last weekend up at the Lazy Chameleon.

She is definitely worth checkin’ out.

She even has a song on the soundtrack on the new Farrelly Brother’s movie..

Show love…

Click here and be a myspace friend.

As summer begins this saturday, I have been pondering what accessory will prove to be essential in my health and well being for summer:

A grill- check

Cornhole Set (at brother in-law Wade’s house)- check

Cool Paul Frank “Bold As Love” sunglasses- check

Then as fate would have it, I stumbled across the Misty Mate.

This incredible apparatus can cool the air up to 30 degrees!

This piece of advanced mist technology could possibly hold the key to my heart between a tiny yard gnome and a giant weed wacker…

Here’s to summer…